New Dawn, New Day

I’m angry. I am mad. I am a bitter woman.

They have recently put as their status “in a relationship” with each other. Which is cute, considering he’s still married to me. I am an ordained Facebook Stalker. He still has old photos of “us” on his facebook. And of course new ones of the two of them kissing and being happy. I think I don’t love him anymore. I’m just pissed off that he’s so damn happy.

Filling out this final decree of divorce makes my heart sore. It’s a bittersweet. In filing it, I will let him go. Set him ‘free’ to marry another or do whatever he wants. It would also ‘free’ me. Free me to be miserable.

I can remember asking him when he left, Is there anyone else? No. He’d respond. No, there isn’t and there never was. Au Contrair. There had been someone else alright. A chunky, olive skinned woman named Laxyme that he had met less then a month earlier. He was leaving me for someone he met, less then a month ago. I knew he was always a sucker for a big butt and big boobs. I have neither. She has both.

Just like any bitter woman going through a divorce I look back and try and think what I did wrong? What does she have that I don’t. And I realize, it must be herpes, and a low I.Q.

I gave him everything. If he needed something I was quick to give it to him. According to the people that work with him, this is the first woman that has come to work since I myself left. I used to work with him. This is the first piece of ass that has crossed his path.

I always told him that if he was lusting after another woman, that we could work it out. That I could step up my game. He flat told me, he doesn’t want to work it out, and he just doesn’t want to be with me anymore.

I sent her this e-mail:

Love to interrupt your day. I was just curious what it felt like to be a homewrecker? I was curious what it was like to destroy a family. Let me guess. He probably filled your heads with a cute little sob story about how abused he is. and how mean his wife is, and how he is lonely. And if he didn’t, then wow you really are a slut. You’re not his first conquest, definetly won’t be his last. He told me plenty of lies when I first met him. About how His girl was psycho, and how He did everything to work it out. He left her when he got bored. He left me when he got bored. Guess what sweetheart, he’s gonna get bored of you too. He’s a 21 year old selfish boy that thinks of only himself. You are just another notch. Another trophy. He has cheated on everyone he has ever been with. Hope you don’t get too cozy.
But for real, how does it feel? I mean, a married man. How pathetic do you have to be to allow a married man with 2 baby mamas to flirt with you and to encourage him to pursue you.
Oh and to prove how much of a liar he is, When you first started working with him he told me you were ugly. that you looked like a man. I told him, come on, she can’t be that bad. and He said you were not attractive in the least and that you looked like a lesbian.
Congratulations tho. You’ve caught his attention, and caused a man to put a whore above his own son. I’ve told him he can get Rawlins at anytime he likes. But apparently your pussy is just so damn good that he perfers it over spending time with his babies. You must feel like a real awesome person like a real mack. Go you.
I certainly don’t blame you. He is a charming, hardcore lover, passionate, and the best I ever had. But I certainly won’t feel sorry for you when he suddenly leaves you because he’s tired and bored. I feel sorry for you truly. But not sorry enough that if you were on fire and i had a glass of water I’d enjoy every sip while I watched you burn to death. Shame on you. How the fuck do you live with yourself. – His WIFE

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Too hasty? I have always been a person to see only good in people. To never take people for any negativity. I was Melanie from Gone with the Wind. Kind, Gentle, and loved and accepted anyone who wanted to be around me.

Now all I can think is vengeful things. I find myself picking fights with people I love, and pushing the others away.

I cry when they play our songs on the radio.

And he’s happy. He’s so happy. And I’m angry. So angry.

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